


Of Princesses and Pants

by notheryet



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29991036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notheryet/pseuds/notheryet
Summary: Minako accidentally finds out about something Makoto has been keeping private. Mako begins to question her feelings and comes to Haruka for advice.
Relationships: Aino Minako/Kino Makoto, Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka
Kudos: 21





	Of Princesses and Pants

Mina found out about it by accident. Being her annoyingly brazen self, she hadn’t bothered to ask before barging in on Makoto changing during a sleepover. After a moment of awkward silence, Mina simply muttered a hasty “Oh, sorry,” and closed the door. Makoto had sunk to her knees, petrified. She was too overwhelmed to even cry.

They didn’t talk about it afterward. It didn’t seem as if anything had changed for Mina, and if she didn’t know better, she could almost think that she hadn’t actually noticed it at all. She would have almost preferred if she had reacted with disgust and hatred, instead of the uncertainty that clawed at her every time they spoke to each other.

To her own shame, Makoto took her frustration out on her. Maybe because she didn’t want her to get the upper hand. Most of the time, they all laughed her insults off as friendly banter. But when Makoto went too far, like when Mina was counseling Rei on her romantic troubles, and she said that Minako had no right to lecture people when she fooled around with every boy she met and then complained about not being able to get a steady boyfriend, and everyone stared at her mortified—except for Mina, who fixed her gaze downwards at her tightly clenched hands.

“U-um… Maybe we should go back to studying,” Ami suggested, trying as always to diffuse the tension.

Mina stiffened, then drew in a sharp breath. She looked as though she was about to shout Makoto down, but she clenched her teeth. There was a visible sheen in her eyes. She wordlessly slung her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the apartment.

The air in the room felt sticky. Makoto rubbed the back of her neck. Serves her right, she said to herself (unconvincingly).

“Mako-chan,” Usagi said, clutching the fabric of her skirt nervously. “Aren’t you two supposed to be friends? What’s been going on between you two?”

“Girl stuff,” Makoto replied sarcastically.

“I’m serious! It’s not fair to us to have to put up with you two fighting. But more importantly, you owe it to yourself. I know you care about each other, and you’re wasting your time squabbling like idiots instead!”

Dammit. Why did Usagi have to be so right sometimes? It really messed up her whole airhead deal. Makoto sighed in resignation. “Fine. But for the record, I didn’t start it.”

Unexpectedly, Makoto found her sitting on a bench outside. She was looking down at her hands again, fiddling them absentmindedly. She didn’t look at Makoto as she sat down next to her, but she did adjust her posture slightly, drawing her legs closer to her body. Makoto swallowed. Before she could push out her words, Mina spoke softly.

“I don’t ‘fool around,’ you know.”

Makoto sighed and itched the back of her neck. “I know.”

“I…” Mina looked at her imploringly. “Have I done something to make you angry with me? Because if I have, trust me that I’d want to know and try to make it right.”

A knot twisted in Makoto’s stomach. She laughed bitterly. “Are you serious? Are you sure it’s not you who has the problem with me?”

“What? What on earth are you talking about?!”

“Stop. Just stop it.” Makoto crossed her arms, partly out of frustration and partly to give herself some sense of comfort and protection. She suppressed a shudder running down her spine. “I don’t know if you pity me or you just think it’s funny or something, but I know that you’re not acting this way because of friendship. Maybe this isn’t a big deal for you, but it’s a really, really big deal for me.” She curled over and choked out her words. “I know you can’t be friends with someone like me. I know that. I just don’t know what other reason there is why you don’t just… run away from me. It would probably be better for you, too.”

“Mako-chan…”

“I’m serious. I’m a freak. Why don’t you just go tell that to everyone, huh? Spill the beans on how Kino Makoto is a perverted freak. I bet they’d get a real big laugh out of that.”

“Mako-chan, please stop…”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s already… it’s already all over for me. We can’t go back to being friends. It doesn’t matter what I do or say, because in the end, you’ll always be the perfect girl, everyone’s favorite idol, and I’ll just be…"

Makoto saw tiny stains forming in her lap. She reached up and felt the tears pouring down her face. Something finally dropped loose, and she began bawling. She could feel Mina wrap her arms around her in a warm embrace, which she returned without thinking. Mina stroked her hair as she unleashed the pent-up frustration and sorrow of the last month until her voice became hoarse and tiny.

“I don’t hate you,” Mina said. “I don’t think you’re a freak. I didn’t think it was right for me to bring it up to you unless you were ready to talk first. I’m sorry that I caused you so much pain.”

From where it was buried under Mina’s arm, Makoto shook her head. Mina giggled.

“I don’t blame you for feeling hurt. But this doesn’t change anything between us. Anything at all. You’re still the same Mako-chan as always. Still headstrong, and violent, and dumb…”

“Hey!” Sniffling, Makoto rose up and punched her lightly in the arm. Mina laughed that beautiful, chiming laugh again.

“I was going to say… and brave, and kind. And beautiful.” Heat spread through Makoto’s cheeks. Mina’s face was incredibly close to hers now, and she could see the pinkness in her cheeks, and her long, full eyelashes. She was smiling so gently, her expression filled with nothing but care. She was… angelic. Makoto suddenly felt bashful.

“Thank you,” Makoto whispered. She pulled Mina into a hug again. “I… I don’t want the others to know. Not yet, anyway.”

Mina hummed in affirmation. “I haven’t told anyone.”

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For everything. You’re… amazing.”

“I haven’t done anything, Mako-chan. You’re the amazing one.”

###### 

After that, things pretty much went back to normal. Or maybe even better than normal. They posed and defeated bad guys and hung out after school. She spent a lot of time with Minako; she would help Mako shop for clothes, dragging the taller girl along as she picked out the articles she thought would look cute on her. In exchange for being her living mannequin, she would help her cook dinners (although Mina insisted she was the one in charge and Makoto was just helping her, despite the fact that she always ended up salvaging their project from Mina’s disastrous culinary skills).

“Why do you like cooking so much, anyway?” Mina asked her one night while slurping down soba. Her eyes were bright and inquisitive, and Makoto unconsciously withdrew her body a bit, rubbing her thighs and pursing her lips anxiously.

“I guess I just wanted to learn something… um… that a girl would do,” she admitted reluctantly. Mina cocked an eyebrow. “I mean, my family was always very accepting,” Makoto stammered. “When I told them about my, uh… issue, they were worried, but they mostly just wanted to make sure I was safe and happy. That’s why I transferred to another school district, so I could sort of start over where no one else knew me.

“Everything went pretty smoothly, all things considered. But I still felt like a weirdo, even if nobody knew about it. It was just something that let me feel like I was… I don’t know. Normal. The kind of thing that a girl should learn when she’s young, I guess.”

“Well,” Mina said carefully, tapping her cheek thoughtfully. “Do you like doing it?”

“What?”

Mina giggled. “Is that really such an unusual question? You’re supposed to enjoy your hobbies, you know.”

Makoto pondered, stirring her noodles absentmindedly. “Um… I guess I do. I didn’t used to, but… being able to make something delicious for my friends is something I treasure now.”

“That’s good,” Mina responded. “You know, Mako-chan, you don’t need to convince people you’re a girl. Not just because you look like one—a very cute one, I might add.” Makoto blushed slightly. “What I’m saying is, you should do those kinds of things because you want to, not because it’s something that ‘makes you a girl.’ I mean, I can admit that I would fail the standards of, ah, domestic skills,” Mina joked.

“Easy for you to say,” Makoto snorted. Realizing how hurtful that sounded from the expression on Mina’s face, she quickly went on: “You’re never going to have to prove that you’re a girl to anyone. But I’ve had to do it my whole life. To doctors, to friends… I just get really jealous of people who never have to worry about stuff like that. And I know that’s stupid and probably kind of mean, but that doesn’t change how it feels, you know?”

Mina thought for a moment. “I mean, I don’t want to pretend like I understand what you’ve gone through. That’s something I’ve never experienced, and never will. But… When I think about you, whether or not you’re a girl isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. I mean, you are one, obviously. You’re also a good cook besides that, and my best friend, and a Sailor Scout. I could list a thousand labels like that: ‘tall,’ ‘brown hair,’ ‘nice legs…’” Makoto was definitely flushing harder than she ever had in her life.

“But none of those things are ‘you.’ You’re the total of all your parts, and more than that, too. You’re Kino Makoto, and learning about this side of you hasn’t changed that one bit. If anything, it’s made me love you even more. It means you trust me enough to let me see you as the full person that you are.”

“Uh…” Makoto bit her tongue, unsure of whether she should point it out. “Um. You love me, huh?” She punctuated her question with an awkward giggle.

“Ah, well, yeah! You’re my best friend, after all!” Mina rubbed the back of her head, grinning wide. “Unless me saying that makes you uncomfortable…”

“No, no, it’s ok. I love you too, Minako-chan.” The words felt bitter as they left her mouth. Why did she feel so… let down? Wasn’t Mina actually being really sweet to her? Her feelings didn’t make any sense to herself anymore. The rest of their dinner carried on with idle chatter, but Makoto felt like her stomach was full of pinballs bouncing around.

###### 

Then lots of stuff happened, and two new Sailor Scouts appeared, and everyone was smitten with Haruka, and then Haruka turned out to be Uranus, and whatever weird feelings she was experiencing had to be put on hold for a while.

Except that she noticed the way that Haruka and Michiru acted together, and although they both held their cards close to the chest most of the time, there was something going on there that was definitely more than platonic. Which meant that this would probably be the best source of advice she could get.

Haruka looked at her with her typical air of detached bemusement as Makoto approached her outside the café where they had agreed to meet. “I wasn’t aware this was a date, little kitten,” she quipped, eyeing Makoto’s atypically attention-grabbing clothing: a black jumper dress over a red blouse, with boots coming up slightly past her knees.

“It isn’t,” Makoto responded, taking her seat. “Especially considering that you’re in a relationship with Michiru-san.”

Haruka didn’t react to what she said, simply sipping her tea and looking off into the distance. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this meeting? You seemed pretty desperate for something.”

Makoto coughed. She hadn’t exactly planned how to say it, and she found herself fumbling. Eventually, she decided that being direct was probably the best approach.

“How do you know that someone is interested in you? Romantically, I mean.”

“Hm.” Haruka seemed amused. “I’m not sure I could be of much help. I’m not very good at giving advice about boys.”

Makoto summoned up as much courage as she could manage, muttering her words more towards the table than in the direction of Haruka: “I didn’t say it was a boy…”

That definitely caught her attention. “Ah,” Haruka responded, then lapsed into silence for a while. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, it just seemed like she was processing a lot at once.

Makoto sighed. “I’m sorry, maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to talk to you about this…”

“No, it’s all right,” Haruka said, offering a soft, apologetic smile. “I just don’t have a lot of experience in… well, consulting people about it. I’ve always simply lived the way that I want to, regardless of what others thought of me. I don’t hide who I am, but I don’t feel the need to explain or justify myself either.”

Makoto giggled. “I remember when Usagi and Mina thought you were a boy… I know you never lied to them about being a girl, but it was pretty funny how you led them on. Those two can be pretty shameless.”

“And I recall that you had quite the crush on me as well.”

Makoto blushed beet-red and rubbed her arm. “I’m sorry about that, Haruka-san… I didn’t mean to interfere in your relationship.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve always found that some light provocations of Michiru’s envy can… help ignite the flames of passion,” she said, punctuating her sentence with an almost imperceptible wiggle of her eyebrows. Makoto laughed, finding that the conversation was far more relaxed than she had anticipated. It seemed as though she and Haruka had a natural connection with each other, a kind of silent understanding. She realized that there were quite a number of things she was unconsciously holding back whenever she spent time with her other friends. It was really nice to be able to just put them out in the open.

“Besides, most girls have passing crushes on me. There’s nothing too special about that.” Haruka smiled, placing a hand on her cheek. “What Michiru and I have is… quite different.”

“I can tell…” Mako held her cup pensively with both hands.

“And that’s the kind of relationship you’d like to have, hm?”

“Well… yes.” Mako weighed her words carefully. “I don’t want to take these feelings lightly. I do want to be honest with her. She’s my best friend, after all, I just… I just think the chances of having my feelings returned are very, very slim, and…” She licked her lips, trying to find a way to phrase it discreetly. “Even if they are… I guess I’m just worried that I’ll be treated differently, I guess… I don’t know how to say it…”

“Ah.” Haruka nodded, her eyes closed. “You’re worried that your crush will only think about the fact that you’re a girl, and treat your feelings differently because of that.”

“Exactly!” Mako shouted, a bit too enthusiastically, banging her hand on the table, piquing a few glances from passersby. She cleared her throat sheepishly. “Exactly. You really get me, Haruka-san. Thank you.” She neglected to mention her other worry: if Mina didn’t see her as a girl after all…

Haruka opened one eye, smiling and gesturing with a cupped palm. “What can I say, I’m a natural when it comes to these kinds of affections.” Her expression softened slightly. “Well, I am now, at least. Listen, Mako-chan, this may surprise you, but I wasn’t the one who started pursuing Michiru. In fact, she was quite pushy about it.”

“Really? I guess I expected it to be the other way around, since… you know…”

“Yes?” Haruka intoned slightly mockingly.

“Well… since you’re…”

“Not quite as much of a girl as she is?” Haruka leaned back, stirring her tea.

“But… you are a girl?”

“Well… from a certain point of view, I suppose I am.” Haruka’s expression became deeply pensive, her eyes hazing over as if she was gazing into the past. “But I don’t want to be held down by the expectations and perceptions others have of me. I want to live for myself, and define myself on my own terms.” Haruka tapped her chin thoughtfully. “It’s not that I’m averse to being seen as a man or as a woman under certain conditions. But those are just reflections on the surface of the water. It has very little to do with what lies beneath.”

Haruka leaned forward suddenly, taking Mako’s hand into her own. She smiled gently. “But if you are fortunate enough, you just might meet the rare kind of person who is able to peer beneath the surface. And when you are around them you are able to simply be. That, in my view, is what it means to love someone.”

Mako’s breath caught in her throat as she carefully considered Haruka’s words. She had other best friends besides Minako, but she realized in that moment that there was no one who made her feel at home in herself the way Mina did. In a way, the unfortunate accident had been a blessing: unlike everywhere else, she didn’t have to be on guard with her. It wasn’t just mere attraction. It was the feeling of trusting someone enough to let them see all of you.

Mako beamed, her whole body glowing with warmth. She leapt out of her seat and wrapped her arms around Haruka’s shoulders, provoking stares from the other patrons. Haruka patted her shoulder awkwardly.

“Uh, well… I suppose I must have said something right, then. Have you gathered up the courage to confess to your beloved yet?”

Mako sprang to her feet, planting her hands on her hips triumphantly. “You’d better believe it! And I’ll make my full report to you after my mission is complete.”

“Right…” Haruka sighed. Young love… Makoto was already walking away with a crackling energy in every step. At that moment Haruka realized that she had just been left with the bill. She pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.

“I hope I’m as good of a mentor as she seems to think…”

**Author's Note:**

> If there's demand for it I might work on another chapter.


End file.
